Procrastination

Yall probably think that I am going to start talking about the woes of waiting till that last minute on a paper that is due, or an assignment that must be completed, but I'm not. The type of procrastination that I am going to talk about has to do with women.

For a while now I have been talking to a girl that i met at camp when I was a sophomore in high school. While I was there we, what you would say "hooked up". It was a Church camp so dont go getting any wild ideas. When the week was over and we said our goodbyes, we parted ways. Her parents were really strict, and all i could do at first was write letters to her, so eventually we just lost contact. A few years later we coincidentally met, out of the blue, at six flags one day, and I finally got her phone number. So off and on since then I have been calling her and just catching up.

It wasnt till this summer that i got more interested in her than before, so I made "a move" and visited her in Houston. That is when I realized that this girl could be the one. I should have said something back then and all during these last few months but i didnt. Do you know why? Procrastination! Everybody told me that I should tell her, but i did'nt listen. I just sat back and was content with just being friends for the time being. I kept telling myself that "i'll do it soon" until the day of judgement finally came. It was a week ago today, and i was talking to her on the phone like normal. I was just talking about whatever came to mind and about an hour into our conversation she suddenly paused. She told me that she is dating a some guy now. She told me his name but I was too upset to remember it. I havent ever been hit before but I'm guessing that this feeling that i felt in my stomach was about what it feels like. Up until that day I was just fine with our situation, but by then regret was starting to sink in.

I paused for a minute when she told me and then just went on like nothing had happened when in reality i was crushed. Five years i spent talking to this girl and if I had'nt been so stupid and just told her how I felt just a month ago, then i wouldnt be writing this blog right now. Up until a week ago I thought that chance meeting at six flags was fate, but boy was I wrong. I know it is my own fault, but it just feels good to vent. If it is meant to be it will happen. I am a strong believer in that fact, and if God wants us together then he will make it happen. I guess its back to the drawing board now (at least concerning my finding a woman).